Death By Elevenses Kiwi Reporter : As it was ANZAC day yesterday, I've baked everyone ANZAC biscuits. English Reporter : Anthrax biscuits ?

26.4.05 10:17 Permalink / 2 Comments / comment

Blanniversary I missed my Blog Anniversary by eleven days. Curses. I have also worked out that this is my 351st entry on 20Six, not including contributions to The Gallery, Blog Crush (RIP x 2) and Channel26, amongst other free-for-all blogs. Taking those into account, that averages about an entry a day over the last year. I think I need to go outside and find life again.

19.10.04 11:01 Permalink / 4 Comments / comment

Sleepless In Seoul (reprise) Am in Seoul Airport again. Things have almost come full circle for the 180 Degrees project. And I'm hoping I've not made a big mistake leaving New Zealand. I just ate some broiled eel on rice in the food court. It was eely good. Don't worry - the taxi's already booked...

12.6.04 02:08 Permalink / 2 Comments / comment

The End of (Another) Era I have only three days left in New Zealand. Lawks.

8.6.04 05:37 Permalink / 2 Comments / comment

Size 9 Hole-In-Face Gal I work with is talking to group of customers. They feel uncomfortable about having to give a card over to start a tab, so she gives them the benefit of the doubt. Gal says "Don't worry - I know you're not gonna run away". One of said customers is in a wheelchair. There is a pause.

6.6.04 14:39 Permalink / 1 Comment / comment

Things I'm gonna miss about New Zealand pt. i L&P. It's like halfway-house between lemonade and ginger beer. One of the best soft-drinks ever. And a great mixer for Jack Daniels. Lush. And thrice lush.

28.5.04 04:46 Permalink / comment

Certificate 18(0 Degrees) An email from Biff : Owe you filthy goon I tried to look up your web blog and the web marshal thing said (below). I’ll check it tonight instead! Text download (TEXT, 69398 bytes) was restricted by the text censor rule 'Scan and block pornographic content'. TextCensor Script 'Pornography' triggered with total weighting of 10: Expression 'clitoris' triggered 1 times, weighting 1 Expression 'fuck' triggered 1 times, weighting 2 Expression 'fucker*' triggered 1 times, weighting 2 Expression 'fucking' triggered 1 times, weighting 2 Expression 'nipples' triggered 1 times, weighting 1 Expression 'penis' triggered 1 times, weighting 1 Expression 'sex OR sexy' triggered 1 times, weighting 1 Contact your WebMarshal administrator if you need access to this site for business purposes.

25.5.04 02:27 Permalink / comment

An Apology (or two) After the return of my food and sweet sweet HP Sauce, I would like to apologise for the sentiments expressed towards whoever 'borrowed' it in the first place. By "gored to shit" I of course meant 'massaged and stroked', and by "bulls" I of course meant 'angels'. I would like to apologise to Menace Pennis also. By "wannabe flappy-headed moose-fucker" I of course meant 'honourary flappy-headed moose-fucker'.

18.5.04 23:33 Permalink / 3 Comments / comment

Fucker Some fucking cock has stolen my bag of food from the hostel fridge. It had a full bottle of HP Sauce in it. A *full one*. And some beer. And two bananas (this will surely distress Jawj at least). I'm all for the punishment fitting the crime. That's why I want them to be gored to shit by fifty bulls.

18.5.04 08:36 Permalink / 3 Comments / comment

Dun 'ead In Yay. Three dollar beer. Woo. Ouch. Somebody nurse me.

8.5.04 00:56 Permalink / comment

I am spent I have no idea how to top my arse. I might end this blog now.

13.4.04 11:34 Permalink / 11 Comments / comment

Get Up, Stand Up I did it. I fucking did it. I rode that bitch.

6.4.04 07:44 Permalink / 3 Comments / comment

Things that are wrong with New Zealand pt. III Haven't added to the list of things that are wrong with New Zealand for a while. Which is odd, as I could have added a new entry every day since I've been here. So here are a couple... Britlanders everywhere. I thought I might get lucky on account of having an unusual accent. Unfortunately, every other fucker here has the same one.

30.3.04 13:35 Permalink / comment

Hacky Spack Myself and Dougal were playing hacky in the street last night, and bustin' some seriously ill moves. Then a good-looking oriental gal came out onto her balcony in Kingsland Apartments opposite and started watching. We waved to her. She waved back. Then our fly stylin' went right out the window, and it turned into - you guessed it - hacky spack.

29.3.04 23:16 Permalink / comment

How The Other Half Live We moved a load of stuff into the new place today. It is essentially one house partitioned into two gaffs. One of the immediate neighbours came out to introduce herself all bleary-eyed, and apologied for not having cleaned up yet. When we said that it was fine, and there was nothing to clean up, she pointed at the vomit stain adorning the side of the house beneath their window. "I don't usually do that" she informed us. It endeared her to us instantly. Welcome to your new home.

28.3.04 06:32 Permalink / comment

 [next page]